They dunno and its a burdensome. They expect lot from me. I would have just kill myself for being unnecessary person.
Kata BR aku ini emang blm hidup. Toh L gk punya motor tp tetep bs kemana2.
I need someone to tell how bad I am. I do bad. Terrible. Always wasting time, miscommitment from myself. I need an eye one me, I need another brain outside my real brain to think for me and remind me everutime I forget. Bangsat! Ini kutukaaaaan. Aku kena adzab. Aku gk bs menguasai dan mengontrol diri dan waktu ku. I live like a zombie. Dunno what to do. Katanya mau bertualang? Bullshit. I feel very very bad of myself. Nobody can help me but me because Allah had already cursed me. I cant ask Him a favor. Its up to me!! Whether to have dream or not . Whether to live like this or not. This act will lead into a big regrets in the future. Are u prepared for it? U know what u do now, u know the consequences!!!
Are u stupid or something? Expect people love you, happy with u, know u, while ure doing nothing? What can be prouded of u? Its not what u think "Getting advantages from friends". U do not wortg that. Many friends with no effort. Beautiful face witb no effort. Many skills with no effort. Smart with no effort. All u do is just live for today. Ya Allah, masalahnya udh ddpn mata. I know what my problem is. Aku tinggal ngambil langkah awal dan komitmen selamanya (dr pandangan idealku). Menurutku ini keterlaluan udahan. Gak sesuai sm norma kebenaran dan norma hati nurani ku. Aku tau itu salah, tp ntah terlalu males apa terlalu goblok utk memperbaiki diri. Hidup lebih menyengsaraka bagi ku dibanding mati. Tp ini jalan hidupku. Aku harus bear with this. Satu pertanyaa crucial, "Kalo ko mau punya anak yang cerdas dan gamau anakmu sama kayak ko skrg, ko jg hrs jd ibu yg cerdas dengan cara BERUBAH. BERHIJRAH. How can u be so sure it will work while u expect to change tomorrow? Its now. Now is the time."
